How can I approach God when I’m hurting, if I’m not sure I believe that He’s good?
So much of our belief can be formulaic. We often think that if we do A, B, and C, then God will do X, Y, and Z. But when our experiences inevitably deviate from that belief, our trust in God often crumbles. After a series of life-altering trials - including a devastating diagnosis - Kristen LaValley knows what it’s like to uncover faith in the cracks of pain.
In Even if He Doesn’t, Kristen unpacks the nuances of suffering and faith, holding space for the tension between the two and revealing how the gentleness and grace of Christ offer a surprising path to healing. When our belief is reduced to a formula, we rob ourselves of a faith that is enriched by suffering, not crippled by it. Those in the midst of heartache will find strength and renewal as Kristen approaches the complexity of suffering with compassion, guiding us to endure while not forsaking the joy, hope, and peace of those marked by Jesus.
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“Kristen opens the door into her darkest moments with such honesty and straightforwardness that we can’t help but feel less afraid to face our own valleys. Kristen writes with the voice of a friend—the kind who isn’t afraid of your angst but also won’t ever stop believing how beloved you are by God.”
If you are starting off reading this feeling like God has abandoned you because He didn’t do something you begged of Him… I have a feeling that you will close this book, look up, and see that He’s been sitting right next to you all along… Even if He didn’t.
- Carlos Whittaker, speaker and author of How to Human and To Kill a Spider
Few are brave enough to address the topic of suffering because to believe in Jesus and suffer, too, can sometimes be a hard reality to accept. In this book, it feels like Kristen is holding our hand as she walks us through suffering and the sacred way to be in it while still hoping and believing in God. Every day, we are surrounded by suffering in this world, whether we see it or experience it—this book is for such a time as yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
Pricelis Perreaux-Dominguez, MSW, MS Ed., Writer and founder of Full Collective
Kristen’s words help us feel included—that our pain can be shared and understood. By the end of this book, God will feel closer and more real, and you will give yourself more love and compassion.
- Lee Ann Miller, TV personality
As I joined the whole internet praying and rallying around the LaValley family in 2020, I had no idea that Kristen’s words about their experience would later help bind up deep wounds tied to my own grief and tragedy. Many books talk about Christian suffering, but this is the first I’ve seen that simultaneously give permission to suffer without making you feel like it’s your fault and gives permission to heal without turning to platitudes or feel-good theology. Even If He Doesn’t takes the raw truth of suffering and mixes it with a gentle invitation to lean on the one who is with us through it all. And it’s done with a bit of humor and levity that can only come from a life marked by joy and hope in the midst of deep sorrows.
- Cody James Vermillion, Cofounder of Uncommon [good] Church, San Diego
This book is a gift for those of us caught between hope in a God of love and the brutality of our own experience. Kristen LaValley courageously, transparently, invites us into her own journeys through this crucible. On the way, she brings fresh light, hope, and courage for our own roads ahead.
- Dr. Kent Smith, Author, professor, and cofounder of the LK10 Network
about kristen
Kristen LaValley is a writer and storyteller whose words offer a refreshing perspective on faith and spirituality. She offers insights that intersect doubt and belief, hope and suffering, beauty and heartache. With a deep love for the Christian faith and a willingness to explore its complexities, Kristen's writing offers nuanced conversations that challenge readers to think deeply and wrestle with important questions. Kristen lives in Massachusetts with her husband, Zach, and their five children.