That Time I Went Viral : A Clarification.
In case you don't know what I'm talking about, the post I'm referring to can be read here.
This week has been INSANE. Just. Crazy. I never in my wildest dreams would've thought a post I wrote while watching my third episode of Duck Dynasty and then put on the back burner for two weeks would turn into this massive viral monstrosity. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what happened and why my words have struck a chord with so many people. But I want to say thank you. So much. To everyone that has shared, liked, commented, tweeted, posted...whatever. I've read just about everything that's linked back to this blog post and I'm finally able to put my thoughts together (and my website is actually functioning!) and so I would like to say a few things.
First of all, I feel like I need to reiterate what I so clearly wrote at the beginning of my post. It was written TO me FROM me. I am a stay at home mom. I wrote the post from a stay at home mom's perspective. I wrote with my readers, who are largely in the same life situation as me, in mind. In no way was I implying or assuming that all women stay at home. Nor do I think that is what every woman should be doing. So. Let's put the brakes on that crazy train. You can be offended that I wrote to stay at home moms, or you can do what so many others have done, and take the principle from the post and apply it to your own life. That being said, if I had known the massive reach my words would have, I definitely would have said a few things differently, but I stand by my post. 100%
My view of marriage is (as I've been accused of several times) antiquated. Absolutely. Not because I believe that women should stay home and men should go to work (I never said or implied that), but because I believe husbands and wives play different, separate roles in marriage and family. My husband is the provider of my family. That's a decision we made a long time ago for our family. He provides for us financially, and I provide for us at home. Yes. I clean. I cook. I take care of the kids during the day. I want him to come home to a warm house, a cooked meal, and a loving wife. Not because he abuses me or dominates me, but because I respect him as my husband, my partner, and my friend and because he loves me selflessly and unconditionally. Our relationship thrives because we put each other's needs before our own. The point is, though, that our marriage thrives.
My post was not about repressing emotion. I'm quite surprised that that's been the takeaway for some people. That I'm telling women to suck it up and hide how you feel so that your husband doesn't have to deal with your womanly crap. That is so not even close to what I said or believe. All I'm saying is that there are better ways to express emotion than to snap at your spouse the moment you see them at the end of a long day. No matter what your day entailed, whether it was a long day at work, or a long day at home with kids, you shouldn't take it out on the person you're sharing your life with. Take a minute to be present with each other without all the drama. Receive the love your husband (or wife. BAH. Why do I have to clarify everything!?) has for you and just for a moment, relax and be loved. Negativity begets negativity and I think we can all agree that we want our homes to be safe, loving, peaceful atmospheres.
Furthermore, I do not believe in a male dominated marriage, but I do believe in mutual respect and love. I think my generation of women have an attitude towards men. Our whole lives we've been fed this "You Don't Need a Man Cause Men Are Evil" philosophy and I'm calling bull crap on the whole thing. I do not naively believe that all men are perfect. I know many men are emotionally and physically abusive. I know they can be lazy and selfish and entitled. But guess what? So can women. And if I'm being honest with myself and with you, I've seen far more disrespect of men by women than the other way around.
No, you don't need a man to survive. You don't need a man to have a happy life. But by darn, if you have a man, hold him tight and love him right! Respect who he is and what he does and he will return that respect with the love and affection that women crave. It does not make you a weaker species if you respect and serve your husband. Not that you should bow at his feet and worship him when he walks through the door, or that you should say "Yes, my Master Lord." when he demands you to make him a sandwich and bring him a beer. If your husband treats you like that, you have far deeper issues than I can address in this post and I hope you can find some help for your marriage. Love your husband by respecting him. That's it.
AND NOW I'M DONE. No more clarifications or focusing on the negative things, because the positive absolutely trumps everything else. I'm honored to have written something that has touched so many lives. Honored. Humbled. And super excited. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.