Be the Mom Your Kids Think You Are

Every day, Emery looks at me as if I hung the moon. His world revolves around me and nothing make sense to him unless I'm a part of it. Jonah was the same way as a baby, but our relationship has changed a little. Now that he's this kid that can think for himself and tell me what he thinks about life, well... we have our ups and downs. I think being home all day together kind of puts us at odds, but when he's hurt or sad or hungry, I'm the first person he looks for. He always tells me I'm "the best ever!" and the other night, he crawled into bed with me and said, "Mom you're beautiful." Totally unprompted and spontaneously. And you know what my first thought was? "I wish you could understand what a terrible mom I am."

My friend Christie wrote an amazing post called "When Satan Steals Your Motherhood" that totally and completely calls out the lie that we let ourselves believe, so I won't go into that. I'll just skip to the next step. The part where I challenged myself to be the mom my kids think I am.

I'm not perfect. I fail so much. SO much. Every day. I choose my phone over reading books. I choose Emery over Jonah because it's easier. I choose Disney Junior over running around outside. I choose lazy over active, fast instead of healthy, cheap instead of good. I can't remember the last time I reached the end of the day and felt like I did a good job as a mom that day. But I'm tired of beating myself up about what I didn't do that day and I'm going to be who they think I am. Because they think I'm amazing and so I'm going to be amazing and feel amazing and truly believe that I AM amazing.

Think you've tricked your kids into thinking you're the best?  You're wrong. You haven't tricked anybody. Your kids are the only people in your life who truly SEE you. They see your faults and failures. They're the first to know when you mess up this whole parenting thing. Take a page from their book and forgive quickly. How often have you overreacted to something your kid did and the result was a heart broken child, either crying or throwing a tantrum in anger? Who's the person they run to for comfort? YOU. Who's the person they want to snuggle with at night? YOU. Kids forgive quickly and effortlessly and we should be able to forgive ourselves just as quickly.

So be the mom they think you are. Be amazing. Be funny. Be beautiful. Be the best chef ever. Be their comfort. Be their safety. Be the hero in their story. You already are and you always will be, no matter what. This isn't about earning their love. It's about being worthy of it. If my boys will think I'm the best no matter what I choose to do, then I will choose to be the best. I will always choose them and I will always do what's best for them.

This is a challenge for myself, but it's a challenge for you too. Don't let insecurities and lies from the other side convince you that you're anything less than the incredible mom that you are. Insecurity is the destroyer of families and you can make the choice today to not allow that to be part of your story. Look at yourself through your children's eyes. They think you hung the moon...believe that about yourself and be a moon hanger.

{"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears it down." Proverbs 14:1}