If you are a female and you are hanging out with me and you start in on your husband and all of the awful things he does, please don't be too offended if I politely cut the conversation short or just stare at you blankly. I know the difference between venting and bashing and I will not listen to or partake in the latter. And telling me all the ways your husband is a terrible person won't inspire me to swap horror stories with you. I have never...not once...talked poorly of Zach to anyone.
Yes, I'm bragging.
I can't stand it. CANNOT STAND IT. When I hear women talking crap about their spouses. Seriously...what benefit do you hope to gain by sitting around and sharing your husband's ugly moments with the world? It gives me the scurrvies and just no. I'm not a controversial person (or at least, I don't try to be) but when it comes to disrespecting the man you choseto build your life with, I just won't put up with it. You won't catch me airing Zach's dirty deeds. Not to my closest friend. Not to my sister. Not to my mom. Not a single soul.
And it's not because we're private people. Obviously. I'm a blogger. I chronically over share our lives to a fault sometimes. And it's not because Zach has me brain washed or beats me with a stick if he catches me bad mouthing him. (LOL. Like he could catch me even if he wanted to.) And I'm definitely not trying to paint a pretty picture that our marriage is perfect or that we don't have issues. I'm not hiding behind a mask of perfection.
I don't bash my husband because I respect him. He never had to prove himself to me, but every day that we're married, every season of life, he continues to surprise me. He changes and adapts and anytime he has a weakness that hurts me or causes strife in our marriage, he selflessly works to improve whatever it is so that I'm happy. So that we're happy. So that our home is happy. I respect who he is as a person, the role he plays in our family, and the father he is to our children. Bashing him in front of other women would be the ultimate disrespect and I'd never do that to him.
I don't bash my husband because I cherish our marriage. I don't take this marriage thing lightly. It's a big freaking deal, yo. It's not something I can or will walk away from easily. We don't use the "d" word around here and we never will. When we said our vows we meant them. There was no escape clause. Bashing to other women would just be the beginning of the breakdown in our marriage and I refuse. If I have an issue with him, he's the first one that's gonna know about it. And we talk it to death. And we fight. I fight dirty and he thugs out. And then the next day, we talk about it again. And we keep the conversation going because we know that silence is worse than heated conversation. But all of that (as awful and exhausting as it is) is better than airing my anger to my friends. Bashing leads to breakdown and I won't have it.
I don't bash my husband because telling other women what he's doing wrong just aggravates the problem. Women feed drama. And what happens when you talk junk about your husband to a bunch of women? Them girls gonna stir the pot. By the time our conversation is done, I'll be fired up with evidence stacked against my man and you better believe I'll have fresh new content to bring the table as soon as the situation allows. I don't need any more weapons to use against Zach. I do a good job of hurting him all by myself and I won't let my friends (as well intending as they may be) put more arrows in my arsenal. No thanks.
My no bashing stance is not just in effect when I'm alone with a group of girls. It stands when Zach and I are out with friends, or with family, or whomever. We've been in situations where someone started bashing their spouse... in front of that spouseand it was uncomfortable and it ruined the night. Ladies, please. Don't disrespect your husband in front of other people. That's a really great way to anger him, hurt him, and push him away. I can never stress how important it is for you to respect your husband always. Even when you're with your most trusted confidant. Learn the difference between opening up and having a shoulder to cry on and just being a brat.
As always, I feel like I have to leave a few caveats :
.No, I don't think I'm better than you or that my marriage is better than yours. .Yes, I know husbands can totally suck sometimes and "why don't you write something to men telling them how to treat women?" Well maybe one day I will. But today is not that day. This post is directed to wives. .No, I don't hate women.